September 19, 2011

Dear Diary,

Today was officially my first day as a Pizza Slut and boy was that fun! NOT!

Lots of paperwork and then I learned how to fold boxes. Lots of boxes. A lot of boxes. And then a few more boxes for good measure. Over 250 to be exact (well, almost exact)!

I had to wear a "car topper" on the car. This is of course free advertising for the pizza shop and turns out to be a great way to scratch and dent the top of my personal vehicle. It's like a scarlet letter, only worse. As I drive around town the whole city gets to see me coming or going with hot pizza and a wad of cash. Drivers only carry $20, my ass! I delivered 7 large pizzas to OSU tailgate party...the bill was over $100 and they paid cash. Glad I only had one delivery on that run.

And, I'm so glad that I'm working during the day! Finding addresses was a bit of a challenge today. Not all houses or mail boxes are marked with the house number so it's a bit of a game. And even the ones that do have numbers aren't always easy to see from the car.

CUSTOMER TIP: If you're going to order pizza and you'd like it delivered as quickly as possible, make it easy to find your address by actually having an address on your house, or your mail box, or your curb or better yet, in all three locations! Um, this might also be helpful in the event that you need the police or fire department to show up. Just sayin'!

And apartment complexes? OMG they are the worst ... some of the streets aren't even marked. Fortunately I only went to one wrong address. Technically it was the right address but I was on the wrong street or was it road? Weybridge. I didn't even know there was a Weybridge Street and a Weybridge Road and a Weybridge Road North and a Weybridge Road South and a Weybridge Road East and a Weybridge Road West. I'd like to meet the genius that planned that apartment community!

DRIVER TIP: If the address is even, the house will be on the east or north side of the street. If the address is odd, the house is on the west or south side of the street.

OK, I think I'll call it a day.

Love,

Your Pizza Slut

PS - You know that delivery fee? Yah, that goes to the store not the drivers. :(

September 15, 2010

Dear Diary,

Only a few more days until my official debut as a Pizza Slut. I know what you're thinking...

"Why *Pizza Slut*? "

Well, in my mind, a slut doesn't really want to be called a slut. In most cases, I don't think a slut really enjoys doing the slutty things that she (or he) does to earn the title. There's probably some need that's missing in their life or some desire that's not being fulfilled. Attention. Love. Affection. Value. I'm sure there may be more but those are the things that immediately pop into my head when I think of why sluts do what they do.

In my case, there is a serious financial need. My parents taught me to "save for a rainy day" and the last 18months have been soggy! I am so grateful and thankful for our savings but now I'm delivering pizza because we need the money.

Does that make me a slut or a pizza prostitute? Either way, I feel cheap and under valued.

So now you and Rich know why I'm affectionately giving myself the title, Pizza Slut!

Love always,

Your Soon-To-Be Pizza Slut

September 13, 2010

Dear Diary,

Well, I aced that interview but I will humbly admit that some of the questions were tough ones. Thank GOD for my marketing background! I was able to craft targeted responses for the audience. Everyone seemed nice enough but it's not going to be the same as a creative environment.

I learned that the job is more than just driving and delivering pizza. I didn't know that. I took it for granted that most delivery drivers stand around smoking cigarettes when they aren't on a run. Well, they don't. Maybe that's why I see so many of them smoking in their cars while they're driving.

Providing my background check comes back OK, I start on Sunday. I don't know why it wouldn't ... I think the last time I had a speeding ticket was when Dad was being deployed to Iraq during the Gulf War. That was like what 20 years ago?

Well, at least now I have an excuse to go shoe shopping! Gotta find a pair of black non-slip shoes. Apparently the floor can be slippery and you need special shoes... I wonder if they even make cute shoes that meet the safety requirements. Probably not. Sigh! I might as well just accept the fact that I'm certainly not going to find a pair of safety shoes with red soles.

I guess maybe finding a pair of black pants will be more fun... I'm thinking I'll hit the thrift store for a couple of pairs. I'm not spending an arm and a leg for pants that could bet ruined by all of the "extra" duties that the drivers have to preform... did you know drivers prep all the stuff used to make your pizza dear Diary? I didn't.

Anyhow, credit card in hand, I'm taking Peach Puff and we're off to do some shopping.

Love,

Your Soon-To-Be Pizza Slut

September 11, 2010

Dear Diary,

Today I sit with tears in my eyes and a heaviness in my heart. It's the anniversary of the terrorist attacks. Nine years have passed and to me, it just seems like scary movie that we saw at the second-run, dollar theater. Despite the fact that it's probably the scariest thing that has happened in my lifetime, it's still not real to me. I'm sure most people know exactly where they were when the day's events unfolded. Fortunately, I couldn't tell you a single detail of where I was or what I was doing on that day other than I was completely starry-eyed, in love, on my honeymoon somewhere on the Colorado River somewhere in the Grand Canyon completely oblivious to everything but Rich. We were so blessed to remain untouched by those tragic events.

Tomorrow, is a new day... I will dry my eyes and I will put on a brave face and I will give thanks for the interview at the pizza shop.

Humbly yours,

Anne

PS - what the heck do you wear to a pizza interview?!!

September 10, 2010

Dear Diary,

I wish I could get paid for looking for a job. I'm putting in as many, if not more hours than a full time employee. I think I've applied for anything and everything under the sun that I am remotely qualified for. I now have at least 12 version of my resume. Let's see, there's one for admin/secretarial, one for medical office manager, one for staffing and recruiting, one for retail, one for marketing, one for brand management, one for project management, one for tech, one for home health, one for PR, one for event planning, one for... hmm I guess that's only 11. Anyhow, I've been getting a lot of form letters back with snarky and contradictory messages like "we're so fortunate that these uncertain economic conditions have provided us with too many well qualified candidates" and "your qualifications are outstanding, but we think you'll get bored in a position like this" and ironically both pre-conceived judgments concluded with, "Best of luck in your job search." No joke! And if that wasn't depressing....

I've officially sunk to a new all-time low. I just filled out that stupid pizza-joint application that Rich brought home on Tuesday. Apparently, you don't need a resume to work in a pizza establishment. I'm literally sick to my stomach thinking about delivering pizza. I can't imagine what the neighbors will think... OMG, what will my parents think if I start delivering pizza at 40?!?!

OK, OK. I know I'm not supposed to care what other people think, but honestly, I'm so disheartened to think that my sweet little peach puff may one day have aspirations to grow up and deliver pizza just like her mommie. (delete, un-create, and destroy that last thought!)

This is not the position I wanted to be in!! This is NOT the example that I expected to be setting for her when I first looked into those sweet, dark chocolate eyes four years ago.

You know.... maybe, just maybe a well-crafted resume could work in my favor with the pizza gig... "sorry, you're over-qualified" ... or should I just complete the application without any spelling errors?

Egocentrically yours,

Anne

September 7, 2010

Dear Diary,

It's me again. Not sure if I should laugh or cry but Rich brought home an application to a pizza joint that has an opening for a delivery driver. Minimum wage? Awesome! I haven't made that kind of money since graduating from middle school.... Well, I guess something is better than nothing. Right?

On the bright side, it was a thoughtful gesture. Being unemployed SUCKS! Rich clearly loves me and wants to see me working and happy...

Seriously, dear Diary, I don't want to be a pizza slut. Can ya PLEASE help me out with a "real" job?!

With much gratitude,

Anne

September 1, 2010

Dear Diary,

It's been over a year and a half since I was let go from the worst job of my life. I am grateful that I am no longer selling "temporary staffing solutions" at ungodly markups in excess of 100% . I'm grateful that I'm not screwing anyone over and I can sleep at night. I'm grateful that I no longer have anxiety attacks sitting on 315North trying to get to daycare to pick up Peach Puff before they start charging $3/minute for being late. I'm grateful that my crappy-ass boss isn't pushing my buttons anymore. Thank you, God for answering part of my prayers! I'm still wondering when the other half will be answered.

Our savings account is dwindling. The economy isn't looking any better than it did when I lost my job. And, despite the hundreds of applications and cover letters that I've sent, the phone isn't ringing.

Rich is getting nervous about the finances and we've joked that I should get a job delivering pizza! Ha! Can you imagine me delivering pizza? I'm pushing 40... who goes from corporate America to delivering pizza at 40?

Please keep me in your prayers!

Thank you, dear diary!